RIMUN

‘Beware the ideas of March.’ (Actual line from Shakespeare’s Julius Ceaser. I changed it a little) The ideas of March in this case were the ideas that were about to be thrown around in the conference room in the middle of March. I over explained it.

Rome International Model United Nations, or RIMUN (pronounced ‘reemun’) is held every year in Liceo Farnesia, a high school, in Rome, Italy. This is more than just a MUN, for we also stayed with Italians, ate with Italians and danced with Italians. I learnt a phrase in Italian ‘saldature a pronto la pizza’, which was by far one of the most important phrases of all: it meant come and have pizza. So important.

The Conference

The conference was massive- hosting 400 external delegates and their Italian counterparts. The opening ceremony was held in this massive hall called ‘Guilio Cesare’, where the Roman lawmakers meet. I was an ambassador, that of Yemen, and the ambassadors had to give an opening speech. I had mine ready and verified by many, but in the end, I scratched it all out, crumpled it into a ball and wrote a new speech sitting in my extremely comfy chair. I was going to wing it. I waited and waited, but we were going alphabetically. China, Egypt, Germany, Jordon, Iraq, United Kingdom. They then announced the last four. I waited. In the first three there was no mention of USA either, so I just assumed he/she/non- specified gender (#LGBTQ rights) would be number four. Another way USA has completely destroyed Middle Eastern countries.

I was in the Advisory Panel on the condition of Women and Children, a part of the Human Rights Council. We had three topics: LGBT Rights, The Deep Web and maternal mortality rates. Our chairs were really nice, but they were unable to meet the expectations I had. They were not able to keep order, nor did they specify time limits for resolutions, questions and amendments. This was one of the main reasons we did not discuss my resolution. I had written a good 6-page resolution which covered all aspects of the topic of LGBT rights including a whole new set of guidelines for the well-being of LGBT refugees in times of a refugee crisis. But, we instead spent 4 hours on a I side resolution of only 15 lines. By the end of our session, it was upped to 50 lines. More half of the resolution was amended out of which I had contributed 17 lines worth of amendments.

What really bothers me is we could have easily squeezed in my resolution, but due to poor time management skills we couldn’t. On the first day, we discussed a fake resolution:

‘Question of: Vodka and Orange Juice

1. Every delegate be issued two 4 oz glasses of vodka each hour,
2. Orange juice will be provided to accompany the vodka,
3. Designated drivers will be provided,
4. All UN member must be under the influence of some substance (alcohol, drugs,

caffeine, hormones, or religious fervor),

5. Other drinks will be provided upon request,
6. A UN dance party will be held with Janet Reno to be the moderator.’

We spent 3 hours discussing this, while we could have finished so much more work.

During normal sessions of our committee, I kept building up negative points against 2 out of 3 resolutions we had passed but did not have the nerve to speak up because the delegates over there took things personally. I spoke up against obvious mistakes, to which the chair also kept nodding his head for those points. I was sure they wouldn’t vote for my resolution because of a personal grudge against me. So, I kept quiet. After 2 days of waiting for my resolution to be discussed, it didn’t happen. In plenary (i.e. when all of the subcommittees of the large committee come together to discuss the resolutions passed in all), I went all out. I was frustrated, angry and sad at the same time. I took the podium. I turned down the mike and spoke my heart out. The chairs didn’t stop me. Here are excerpts from my seven-minute speech about the resolution passed for ‘The Deep Web’.

‘Delegates, we have tried to be constructive throughout this committee. I myself have sent numerous amendments, all constructive, but they haven’t been recognized by this committee. For the record, I address the plenary while saying that the Advisory Panel even voted for one of my amendments, but in my absence, they deleted it from this failing resolution. But I am relieved that that amendment is not a part of this resolution. It was too good for it, and I thank the committee for removing it. This resolution has more holes than the ground in Vietnam, delegates. Now with the chairs permission, I would like to move clause by clause into this resolution. Let us begin.

Delegates, what is the point of a resolution. Do you know? (points to random delegate) Do you know? (points to another random delegate) We pass resolutions as they contain solutions. We wish to see change in this world. Now, look at the first operative clause of this pathetic resolution. It is a definition. A definition. A definition, delegates. Are we here to pass a definition?’

(the writer of this blog then goes on to completely tear down the resolution piece by piece, until there is nothing left to say)

‘Why do cryptocurrencies exist? People do not want their transactions to be monitored by the government. So, by making cryptocurrencies ask for government-affiliated documents, you are definitely not solving the problem, but creating yet another one. The problem of identity theft, much? Just let that sink in. The next thing you know, there could be two of you in this world. And what do you mean by most ‘involved countries’? How do we know Jamaica will not be hit by a cyber attack in the near future?’

(the writer of this blog has decided not to include the full speech as without sufficient knowledge of the topic one would not understand what he is trying to convey.)

The People

We were staying with Italians, throughout the 7 days of the trip. My host’s name was Guglielmo Venturi and he was the best out of everyone. He loved Star Wars, and we really bonded over that. He fences and loves board games. He had a PS4, but unlike other hosts, he did not touch it even once. He was really nice to me and, surprisingly, to his younger sister. I mean, that was crazy. Being nice to younger sisters? That is a power only a few have. But one thing that got one my nerves was his eating choice: he had a salad at McDonalds. The less we say about this unfortunate choice the better. His mother worked at the Italian Olympic center and by the end of the trip I was laden with merchandize- books, pens and pencils, bags and jackets.

His best friend was a guy named Fredrico, who was also hosting another Indian. We spent a lot of time at Fredrico’s house as that was really close to school, while we lived in the outskirts of the city. We went out to dinner a few times with his friends, and once, 15 people came over to his house for dinner. We had pizza and really bonded with the Italians. One of them, Filippo was really into Indian songs. He loved Tunak Tunak Tun by Daler Mehndi, and that’s how it ended up being the ringtone of my phone. By the end of the trip, even if I would see him across the road, we could both do perfect steps in coordination. He was also the administrative staff of my committee and together we wrote 17 punishments for the committee, 15 of them related to Tunak Tunak Tun.

One night the school had hosted a dance party for all its delegates at a proper night club with a real guy managing cues, in a suit. It was at 1030 to 1 am, and I am pretty sure they hosted it for all the delegates to get drunk and not be active in committee. Well, I didn’t go full on because of this reason, but had my share of fun. Once the DJ also started playing a Hindi song, but that was quickly changed. What really got on my nerves was that we had to pay 3 euros to leave her jackets in the cloakroom.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. And that is eat extreme amounts of pizza. They could finish of an entire 8-inch pizza in the same time I could eat a 4 inch. But every place we went, we saw different pizzas. I also completely converted to non-vegetarian with chicken and fish. I also ‘dharam bhrast-ed’ over there by having beef in my pasta ‘bologanesh’.

The people over there are extremely nice and easy to get along with. I couldn’t ask for a better host or any and will never forget the people there.

The City

If in Rome you don’t go sightseeing, what’s the point? Its cruel when one posts pictures on Facebook standing in front of the Colosseum, and then you realize it’s in front of a green screen. On the first day, we went to the Vatican Museum, which is basically the entire country. We saw famous paintings of maps and whatnot and even saw one of two people in togas playing kabaddi. We went to the Sistine Chapel and completely over-analyzed it. Like a bunch of ICSE people. Every painting, every minute detail was taken into account. In our brains. Cause phones weren’t allowed.

We saw the Roman Forum with so many different arches and building, each with its own backstory. We also the Colosseum and went in to see the actual structure. As we were walking around we saw exhibits. They were made out of white plaster and housed many items that described the Colosseum in detail. I joked that we should all stand in front of the white wall and click a picture so we can photoshop ourselves into the Colosseum. Even the teachers seemed to like that idea, but the tour guide refused to waste time. It was amazing to finally see the Colosseum in all its glory.

After the Colosseum we went back to the Vatican where we went to St. Peter’s Square. We were supposed to go into some buildings but the lines were just too long to join so we were just there. Its amazing to see the cooperation the Vatican and Rome has, with different passports, different law-enforcement and different law makers. I joked that we should try to implement this cooperation in Israel and Palestine to stop the war to stop this overused topic to be the agenda of another MUN. But the highlight of the sightseeing trip was looking at Rome from above. This was just me and my host, feeling the breeze and looking at the sight Rome had to offer- the mountains looming over us, the river Tiber flowing through the streets.

In conclusion, I will say I was not very happy with the debate that happened in the conference, but that was easily covered up for by the people I got to meet, the friends I made and Rome. Also, the speech in plenary. Biggest spirit-lifter of them all.